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July 21 Goodbye GOODBYE
Close your eyes
and ill close mine imagine us together just this one time... your hands so gently
brush my hair from my face your lips and mine in a sweet embrace... a kiss that hurts
yet feels so right your arms around me your grip so tight... my nails drag slowly
across you skin i pull you closer leading you in... wanting you more
with every thrust feeling the love but consumed by the lust... feeling the heat
we created together a moment so perfect but one that will never... exist in this lifetime
but only in dreams its time to let go as hard as it seems... so I kiss you once more
a tear falls from my eye I take a deep breath and I whisper goodbye... goodbye
TJ-2006-copyrighted
July 16 Forever in a DreamForever in a dream
Each and every morning
when i wake up from my dreams i realize im all alone it makes me wanna scream i want to sleep...
Why does he have to leave me
when I open up my eyes i dont want him to go away I hold my head and cry please dont go...
I Dont know which is life anymore
the nightmare or the dream they both just feel so real to me as real as real may seem end the nightmare...
all i know for sure
is that im happy when i sleep he is waiting there for me as im awake here and weep i want to live my dream...
this man makes me feel so good
in each and every way i do not want to wake again in my dream i want to stay i love you...
So now ill take a couple pills
then ill take a couple more ill wash them down with vodka then ill lay down on the floor together forever...
the room is spinning rapidly
my heart is racing fast forever i will be with him to never wake atlast... eternity begins now TJ/2006 ©
 July 10 In memory of Kurt... In Memory Of Kurt...
 Its been 4 years since you've gone
but I still keep you in my heart.. I never got to say goodbye and now we're worlds apart I think about the good times
the great friendship that we had i let a distance come between us and for that im truly sad I took our friendship for granted
and the next thing that i knew i woke up to a ringing phone and got the tragic news of you you had been taken away from us
right before my blinded eyes it was too late for appologies nothing left to do but cry Im sorry I abandoned "us"
and I really miss you Kurt I hope in peace you truly rest though your absence causes hurt I will never ever forget you
for our friendship remains true.. in my heart you'll be at rest until my time is through When that time has come
we'll be together again for we swore that we would be bestfriends until the end.. 
CLICK HERE TO LIGHT A CANDLE FOR KURT Kurt.. you are forever in my heart and the great times are to never be forgotten See you when I get there Until then RIP.. and know you are so loved and so missed...
June 28 Title UnknownTitle Unknown
Something burns inside me
that words cannot explain, the hollowness inside of me is making me insane, not knowing what I want disbelieving how I feel, wanting needing happiness but knowing its unreal, I stare into the darkness hoping for a sign, to prove what burns inside of me is a love yet not defined -tj-2006 copyright-
June 25 I Want You- I WANT YOU -
 I want to feel your bodys heat
as I hold yours close to mine I want to feel your sweet lips moving up and down my spine I want to feel your warm breath
as it lingers upon my skin I want to feel your heartbeat fast the way mine does within I want to feel your arms around me
as you embrace me with your kiss I want to feel you deep inside as we let out crys of bliss I want to wipe your tears away
when they're rolling down your cheek I want to be the strength you need when your feeling alone and weak I want to be your best friend
the one you know and trust I want to be your lover too the one you need and lust I want to be your comfort place
when your feeling sad and blue I want to be your happy ending and share forever, Me and You! -TJ/2006 copyrighted-
 June 20 ?@#$...ARGHHHHJune 13 TrappedTrapped
 Trapped inside a life of darkness
but trying to break free not knowing where to run to next all youve known is misery how can you find that comfort place
the place youve never known how would you recognize happiness when in your life its never shown you continue running in circles
hoping to find the way out but you on keep hitting the same walls all you can do is scream and shout straining your brain to find a thought
that might set your soul free thinking theres got to be a way but always coming up empty frusteration and anger taking over
your soul is becoming weak your losing your mind, your sanity noone around to hear you speak banging your head againts the wall
as frusteration and rage take lead you curl up on the floors of hell and let your body slowly bleed...
TJ/2006
 June 07 BLOCKEDblockED
A blank sheet of paper
Looks me in the face thoughts scatter in my head but not a word can be placed so I run laps in my mind to create words that express the way that Im feeling about heartache and stress as i chew on my pen lid
only silence is heard im straining my brain but I just cant find words to tell what im feeling
on this long lasting day so i will continue to think but until then i just may curl up on my couch
and quit watching the clock and accept the fact That ive got writers block TJ/-2006
June 04 Two BodiesTWO BODIES
Two bodies together
surrounded by darkness below the greyest of skies in the heat of the night
Two bodies become one
giving themselves to eachother body & Soul taking away the hurt pleasure replacing pain Two bodies together
as the tears from the sky shower the two souls that were once lost but now found Two bodies become one
holding eachother so close, so tight fitting so perfectly seemingly made for one another Two bodies together
mending old wounds altlast finding a place for trust their heart in anothers hands Two bodies become one
as they lose themselves in eachothers embrace
consumed by their passion Two bodies together
colliding with eachother with each strike of lightning hearts racing as the thunder rumbles Two bodies become one
as they make special music together that only they can hear loud moans, breathless cries two bodies together
holding one another as they tremble with eternal bliss in the warmth of eachothers arms Two bodies become one
the storm calms
two broken hearts are mended
as soulmates unite ...
TJ/2006  June 02 Words of a StrangerWords of A Stranger
Theres something about him
that makes me feel right all though hes afar and long out of sight the depths of his words
drown me with tears although we've not met in my heart he is near he will never realize
how the timing was right when I found him in space how his words were so right at a time in my life
I most needed a friend he appeared in my world and stood by til hells end his words gave me a strength
that he could never see the strength that allowed me to set myself free although i once lost him
again I have found the stranger Ive known and longed to have around If you know who you are
please know this is true my life changed for the better after I found you TJ/2006
 This was inspired by somebody very important to me that I met online, he made me feel worth more than I was being brainwashed to believe I was, he made me realize there was better people in the world, people that would actually respect me and treat me as i should be treated, he made me smile like I hadnt in a very long time, he was my "smile of the day" that smile got me through tough times, that smile helped me rid 2 horrible things from my life without him even trying,
just by being himself ..just by being there when he was. For awhile we had a silent distance between us but there was not a day I dint think about him and miss the smile that he brought to my days,
the smile that saved me
never under estimate the power of reaching out a helping hand or lending a listening ear you have no idea the impact it could have on someones life, you may even unknowingly save one.
You wont often see this sort of write up after a poem... most of my writing is much different but something awful happened yesterday, something that brought back the worst of memories, something that struck a battle within myself, and thinking of this smile, and the words of this stranger ... reminded me of the inner strength that allowed me to move forth ... the inner strength that stopped me from taking a huge step back...
Ive always believed, and you'll often hear me say.. everything happens for a reason, and in my eyes finding this starnger was certainly no mistake. I can only hope that one day my cying shoulder,
helping hand & listening ear could be as helpful to someone as his was to me..  May 31 Turning the TablesTurning the Tables
 I loved you so deeply, I gave you my all
when push came to shove, you allowed me fall Each time i reached up for your help to stand
you turned away, you retracted your hand I needed you so badly, I gave you have my heart
you accepted it with a smile, then you tore it apart Each time i searched, for your shoulder to cry
you shut me out til my eyes were dry I wanted you so greatly, with my body and mind
you used me, abused me, then left me behind Each day i wondered what Id done wrong
you played me for a fool, you tagged me along Now the tables have turned and its you who loves me
I have nothing for you so please let me be I see your hand now, its reaching for mine
I will not help you! no.. not this time Times have changed and its you whos in need
to hell with you! just lay there and bleed Im taking my heart back, its now longer yours
im walking away and closing the doors now you want me? Its too little too late
you and I, We are non-existing fate Its all over now, ill leave you to cry
thank you for the strength to say good riddence.. Goodbye! TJ/2006 ©  May 30 Free My Mind of YouFree My Mind of You  All i want is to have my mind back
why wont you just get out of my head? every day the thought of us how we used to be, things that were said why cant I just stop the thoughts?
just make them fade away the harder I try to control my mind the more it controls me every day Get out of my life get out of my mind
overloaded with shoulda been coulda beens what we HAD was one of a kind now it has died..we have died.. WE is no longer WE it is nothing
merely You and Me... but the thoughts still remain and I sit and wonder... will my mind ever be the same again?
TJ/2006 ©
 May 28 Put the Pipe DownPUT THE PIPE DOWN
 put the pipe down
do it or die your mind is escaping as you let your brain fry  put the pipe down
dont you feel shame? your children all need you this is no longer a game  put the pipe down
you still have a chance do you want to miss out on your daughters first dance  put the pipe down
dont give it control your body is depleting along with your soul  put the pipe down
i know that you can prove to the world you can still be a man put the pipe down
take back your mind you have one last chance its the end of the line  put the pipe down
clear out your head if you cant do it CONSIDER YOU DEAD! TJ/2006 ©  May 25 ClasterphobiaClasterphobia
 in a room filled
with nothing but darkness the walls closing in no doors, no windows... trying to scream
not a sound to be heard the walls closing in the soundproof walls... gasping for air
no air to breathe the walls closing in faster and faster... losing sanity
not a clear thought the walls closing in the dark raging walls... everything fades
dark becomes nothing the walls closing in all four meet as one... taking away
what once was life the walls are closed in fear now gone... TJ/2006 ©
May 22 NecrophiliacNecrophiliac  Take me, use me, have no mercy
I am but a hole in a body go ahead.. deposit your evil no fear within
Take me, use me, have no mercy
I wont scream, I wont fight you go ahead.. ignore the tears no hurt within...
Take me, use me, have no mercy
I am already dead inside go ahead.. i wont tell a soul no love within...
Take me, use me, have no mercy
the damage has been done go ahead.. finish the job no suffering within...
Take me, use me, have no mercy
you are done now leave me be go ahead.. leave me for dead no life within...
TJ/2006 ©
 May 21 Poetry Space Ring...
I have not been writing long, but have come to discover there is a mass amount of great poetic talent throughout msn spaces, so I thought what better way to unite our creative minds and share our writing and feelings with others who will appreciate it. So I started this ring and shall see how far it goes.
All you have to do to join is have a poetry type space, and after joining make sure to add the ring to your space in order to activate your account, and keep your membership active.
HOPE TO SEE YOU ALL THERE!
May 20 Getting Over YouGetting Over You
Beat ...by... Beat
my heart is pounding Tear ...by... Tear
my eyes are crying Gasp ...by... Gasp
my lungs are breathing Thought ... by ... Thought
my mind is racing ...trying... ...trying... ...trying... trying to stay focused
...one less beat... ...one less tear... ...one less gasp... ...one less thought... one step closer
to getting over you.
 May 19 I am Me...I am me
 I am me.. not you...
(dont pretend you know me) I think what I think not what you think... (dont pretend you know my mind) my thoughts are NOT pleasant and thats how I like them I feel what I feel
not what you feel (dont pretend you know what I feel) pain and fear reminds me Im alive and thats how I like it I see what I see
not what you see (dont pretend to see through my eyes) I see reality in the darkness and that is how i like to see Ive lived What Ive lived
not what you've lived
(dont pretend you know my past)
Ive been happy Ive been sad
we all WILL die in the end
I believe what I believe
not what you believe
(dont pretend to be god...because your not)
I do not believe in the bible
and I do not chose to be "born again"
I am me.. not you...
(dont pretend you know me...because you dont) 
If anyone is interested as to what my inspiration is for this scribbling, check out yesterdays comments, you will know which one I mean.. As I mention in my guestbook, I do not write to please anyone but myself..... don't like it? top left corner .. see the little red x? click it it will take you to a better place!
Quote of the Day: " If you dont like what you see here get the fuck out" Extreme.. (ok.. they say "Funk" but you know what they mean ;) )
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